Sign Police

NOTE: This article, while probably a good idea, is intended to make us laugh at ourselves, and think about how we come across sometimes. Any sarcasm is strictly intentional.

I do quite a bit of driving. Living in Alabama (please stop laughing, this isn’t the funny part yet) I have ample opportunity to study church signs proudly displayed on seemingly every street corner. After seeing more than a few that made me go, “Huh?”, I decided that a license or some sort of training should be required to handle a sign. This license could be enforced by sign police that could revoke a sign license at any time. Now I know right now you’re thinking that I must be over reacting. The examples that follow are not exaggerations and are not pretty. Please proceed with caution.

He’s Not Here! He’s Risen!

Ok, this one is almost acceptable for Easter Sunday, when followed by the scripture reference. However, on a church sign in June, raises a number of questions about the church’s spiritual state. I mean if He’s not here, where is He. Now I realize this statement may be true of some churches, but this sign should be avoided if enticing newcomers is an objective.

Git ‘R Done For Jesus

Now I can laugh at the occasional Larry the Cable Guy joke as much as the next person. I’m not sure that the local church sign is the right vehicle for Larry, though. Now I suppose that if your church has Piggly Wiggly sponsor patches on the choir robes, or gun racks in the church vans, this rule could be voided, but I think for most part any Blue Collar Comedy is not a good idea for your church sign.

Great White Throne or Bema Seat: Which Judgment Will You Be At?

If your church is located on the campus of a Divinity school or in some town where the collective IQ average is just above the national debt, this sign probably works. For the rest of us however, if you got to explain it, it probably doesn’t work. Now before I get a ton of e-mails explaining the difference between these two judgments and the importance of the question, I passed my eschatology class in school; however, the average person riding down the road looking at your sign probably thinks your church is hosting a Star Trek Convention that will be judged based on one of two Federation Councils. Just a thought.

Don’t Let Worries Kill You. Let The Church Help.

Not sure any explanation is needed.

OK, so now that I’ve given you something to think about, e-mail me (or respond) with funniest church sign you’ve seen.